If each Game of Thrones character was a type of wine

In my first few months living in Madrid, I ate too many croquettes, drank my weight in Mencia, and watched the entire Game of Thrones series. Feeling inspired by the final season announcement and by how often everyone in GOT is imbibing the drink of the gods, I decided to assign a wine to each (some) of them.

DISCLAIMER: Some of these characters are terrible humans and that in no way reflects my opinion of the wines assigned to them.

For each wine chosen, I’ve linked to more info on the grape or region because learning is fun. Let’s begin:

Jon Snow

Jon Snow is like Grenache; medium body, not much bite and pretty darn tasty.

Daenerys Targaryen

Her children breath fire, so a volcanic soil wine seems appropriate. I choose Nerello Mascalese because it’s one of my favorites, just like Khaleesi.

Cersei Lannister

Champagne for Cersei. Not because she’s reliably great. It’s because if you F with her, you’ll be dead the next day.

Tyrion Lannister

Started as an underdog but now everyone seems to like him. Kind of like Beaujolais.

Sansa Stark

Like Carignan, Sansa was fine hiding behind the more powerful, but it turns out she’s much more interesting on her own.

Arya Stark

Arya is small but mighty with thick skin… as are the grapes of Cabernet Sauvignon.

Samwell Tarly

Sauternes for Sam. Who doesn’t like Sauternes?!?!

Petyr - Little Finger- Baelish

You never know if he’s doing something savory or sour. Kind of like rolling the dice with Pinot Noir from Burgundy.

Jaime Lannister

Definitely Barolo. Because he’s harsh and bracing at first, but then after enough time, he develops into something great.

Lord Varys

Gosh this guy seems to fit in everywhere he goes. Chardonnay anyone?

Red Viper AKA Oberyn Martel

A spicy, big red Syrah obviously.

Bran Stark

Trick question. You can’t be a wine as a three-eyed raven.

Melisandra the Red witch

Tastes fresh but is actually made from a very VERY old grape: País from Chile.

Jorah Mormont

Ugh Jorah - you are so loyal and consistent and just like the ultimate crowd pleaser Sauvignon Blanc.

Brienne of Tarth

Tannat: So. Freaking. Fierce.

Night King

I mean, he’s scary at sh*t, but had to: Ice Wine.

Did I miss anyone crucial? Let me know! April 14th is coming…

Image source: HBO